And yes, I know that this would have been a good kind of fanfic for the unlikely couples contest. My friends in RL have told me. Repeatedly.
Shaolan shifted his backpack slightly as he trudged
down the sidewalk. He sighed heavily and stopped to gaze at a seemingly
common park fountain. That was the spot. That was where he had asked Sakura to go out with him, and that was where…Shaolan shook his head and continued on his way.
The boy slammed the door to his apartment and scowled at the interior. Bare walls, spartan furnishings and piles of clothes and papers strewn across the floor. Sakura had laughed and called it the "lonely bachelor's pad" whenever she came over. Well, he would never hear that again. Shaolan tossed his bag down and flopped on the couch. He stared blindly at the ceiling as tears slowly ran down his face to lose themselves in his hair. What had he done wrong? What had he done to deserve this? If only he could go back and change what had happened that day…
* * *
Sakura sighed deeply and gave a forced smile as her boyfriend came up to her. Shaolan didn't seem to notice, and beamed sweetly at her, for once not scowling. Grabbing her arm, the boy dragged her to sit at a fountain in the middle of the nearby park.
"Sakura," he began, "today is our anniversary, and I have a very special surprise planned for…"
A tortured sob interrupted his speech. Shaolan blinked at the sight of tears running down his love's face, and reached forward to brush the tears away.
"NO!" Sakura pulled away and stood, her back to Shaolan. When she spoke again, it was in a hushed, intense voice. "Listen, Shaolan. I really care for you and I know you do for me. But I don't we belong together forever, and it will be better if we end this now."
Shaolan prayed that he wasn't hearing this; that it was all a nightmare he'd wake from soon. But the sinking feeling in his heart begged to differ. "You can't mean that. You just can't. I love you."
Sakura turned to look at him again, and her eyes
were already red from crying. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, "you're such
a wonderful person, and you don't deserve to have this done to you.
But this isn't right and as much as I care for you, I can't do it anymore."
With that, the girl disappeared down the path.
Shaolan sat motionless, staring after her for a long time until he rose and went home.
* * *
Shaolan closed his eyes and sighed. That had happened over three weeks ago, and there was nothing he could do or say to change it. But now there was Him. And Shaolan didn't know what to do. No, that wasn't true; he knew what to do, he just wasn't…brave enough to do it. The boy shook himself. There was no use being afraid. He just had to get up and do it.
* - *
Shaolan stared at the telephone, as he had for the past fifteen minutes, refusing to believe that such a simple machine had
the power to make him afraid. But it did. He picked up the receiver, put it down, paced around the room and came back to stare at the phone. Finally, he sighed and steeled himself, then picked up the phone and dialed.
Shaolan froze at the sound of that familiar voice.
He opened his mouth, then closed it and gave a frustrated mental sigh.
Meanwhile, the voice on the other end was becoming annoyed.
"Hello? Hello! Who is this?" A sigh came from the other end of the line. "Come on, I don't need this as well as everything else. Whoever you are, goodbye."
Shaolan jolted out of his stupor. "Wait!"
The voice shifted to a surprised tone. "It's you." A pause.
"What do you want?"
Shaolan was shaking, but managed to get some words out. "Two weeks ago, at Tomoyo-san's party, what happened with us. Ummm, was that…do you…"
The voice cut him off. "Look, I was feeling upset over losing… you know. That's all. It was nothing. Forget it."
Shaolan steadied himself for what he was about to say. "What if I don't want to forget? Sakura…She doesn't want me anymore, for whatever reason, and you…" His voice dropped to a whisper. "I think I could love you. Easily." There. For good of ill, it was out.
Silence came from the other end of the line.
Then more silence. Finally Shaolan had to break it. "Touya-san?
"I'll think about it." Click.
Shaolan set the phone down in its cradle and stared at it again. Well, it was better than nothing was. He sat collapsed onto the couch again and sighed. All of this because of depression and probably too much sake. That was an evening to remember.
* * *
Shaolan walked up to the door of Tomoyo's house; uncertain of why he was even there. Then the door flew open and he remembered.
The girl laughed. "Hello! Come on in! Everyone's already here. He scowled as he entered the house, looking around at all of Tomoyo's and Sakura's friends.
Tomoyo grabbed his arm. "Here, sit by him,"
she pointed to the older boy in the next room, "he needs some company."
Shaolan sighed. It was obvious that he was being kept away from Sakura-not that he blamed Tomoyo for that-and walked over to the boy. Then he recognized who it was. "Kinomoto-san? Are you okay?"
The young man had obviously found something alcoholic and had been drinking for a while. He blinked at Shaolan and gave a puzzled frown. Then his face cleared and he said in a surprisingly clear voice, "I'm fine. You're that kid. The one Sakura dumped."
Shaolan jerked and glared at the man. "That's none of your business."
Touya waved the comment away and responded, "Nah, s'okay. Yuki…" His eyes began to become misty with tears. "Yuki did the same to me. I don't know why."
Shaolan gaped at Touya, incredulous. "Yukito-san dumped you? But…but…"
Touya nodded sadly. "Yeah."
Shaolan slumped down next to the other young
man. "With me and Sakura, it's just that…Everything was going great.
We spent time together, we did things with friends, I bought her things…We
cared for each other and were there for each other." He looked up
to the ceiling as if to petition heaven for answers to his hopeless questions.
"Then she just…left me." He glanced over at Touya, who seemed to
be at least half-listening to him. "You know what? I was sent
here by my family to get the Clow Cards form Sakura at any cost.
Including killing her. But I couldn't kill anyone, much less the
girl I loved. Even if I had been strong enough. As much as
I hated my past, I lost it all for her. My life here is because of
her and I lived for her. Was that stupid?"
There was no answer. The boy turned toward his listener, expecting him to be lost in a bottle of sake, or glazed over, but
what he saw shocked him. Touya had fixed him with a driving, intense look that was mismatched with the half-smile that accompanied it. Then the older boy reached over to stroke Shaolan's face.
"Is it stupid to live for one person and nothing else? If it is, then I'm as much of an idiot as you. I lived for Yuki. I know what you mean."
Suddenly Shaolan found himself staring into a pair
of deep blue eyes, as Touya leaned over him. His eyes widened in
shock as Touya's brushed against his own in a chaste kiss. Then Touya
leaned back to stare at the ceiling, as Shaolan had done before. Shaolan
pressed a hand to his lips, then leaped to his feet and bolted. That
is, he would have if Touya hadn't grabbed his arm. Then he felt himself
pulled in close as Touya searched his face for… something.
After a long moment, the older boy nodded, apparently satisfied with what he saw, and dragged Shaolan to sit on his lap. The boy began to pull away, but there was something in Touya's eyes… They were so much like Sakura's in their honesty and earnestness, so sweet and caring. Maybe…if Sakura didn't want him there was a Kinimoto who did.
Touya wrapped his arms around Shaolan, but gently so that the younger man could escape any time. Shaolan leaned in to stare into those blue eyes again, and for the second time that evening, the two shared a quick kiss. The kisses that followed were anything but chaste, and Shaolan found himself wrapping his arms around Touya's neck, running his fingers through the man's short hair. He wasn't sure how far it would have gone if Tomoyo hadn't interrupted.
"Are you sure you two want to do that with this on?"
The two boys turned to see Tomoyo holding a camcorder. The blinked at each other for a second, then Shaolan was out of Touya's lap and running away from Tomoyo's house. He didn't stop until he was as far away as he could get, when he was forced to stop for breath.
The boy cursed mentally. 'What the hell happened back there? And why am I sorry it's over?'
* * *
'And so,' he thought, 'I spend two weeks in hell, wondering what might have been, and he says, "I'll think about it." Am I cursed?'
A knock sounded at the door. Shaolan glowered and growled, "Who would bother me this late?"
The boy reluctantly opened the door and gasped as he was suddenly rushed into the apartment and caught up in a warm embrace. Shaolan looked up to meet a clear blue gaze that was serious and- loving? One could always hope…A mischievous smile played across Touya's lips as he leaned down to kiss the other boy.
"I thought about it."